Learning How to Let Go Was Really Hard

“The Hurting Game” is within hours of going up on Amazon.com and I’m feeling really, really anxious.

It is the first book in a new mystery series, featuring former legendary DEA agent-turned rogue private investigator, Frank Boff.  I am surprised that the excitement I feel is just as strong as when I published for the first time. That first book, “Stinger,” gave way to a second, “The Zukovka Experiment.” Now comes “The Hurting Game.” I am already well into the second book in the series, and have outlines for three more Frank Boff mysteries.

As I put my new book on public display to friends, relatives, and strangers, I feel like a parent letting go of a child who has grown up and is ready to leave the nest.

Even when I thought this book was completely done, I had the urge to rewrite and tweak it. “The Hurting Game” went through over 50 drafts. Part of me didn’t want to let it go. But another part understood that now was the time to share what I have written during thousands of lonely hours at the computer, filling up blank page after blank page.

As the book grew and blossomed, I realized I had written a terrific novel. Yet I was the only one in the world who had seen the book. And so the urge to let the world in to view my book overcame the fear of letting go. “The Hurting Game” was all grown up and ready to leave the nest.

I am reminded of these words from a great poet:

A poem  [or literary work] is never finished, only abandoned." --Paul Valery